Thought Sketch :/\: How to connect with someone’s essence

That’s it! I’ve figured out the method that lets me connect with somebody’s essence, with their soul. And I’ll let you in on it, because it would be so selfish to keep this little secret all to myself.

First, we have to set the context of set and setting.

We’re in the Lila, the “divine play” as its known in Sanskrit. We’re all actors in the play, and we each have our vital role to play. By “we” I mean you, me, every other human, every animal, every insect, every element, the sun, the moon, the stars, gravity, love, even every object. The play simply would not be complete without each individual’s total devotion to their character. We must become the character, otherwise the entire performance is at risk of losing its magic and the potential to capture the hearts of the audience members, and of one another.

We huddle before the performance, and we go out there. That stage that induces all kinds of emotions and sensations — terror, excitement, anxiety, and in some rare cases, calmness and ease. We take our positions, each in turn. Not everyone is necessarily on the stage all at once, but there’s still always a cacophony of buzzing backstage — where the real emotions are at play, in preparation for the big moment.

Now, if I’m able to see every person, place and thing in my life as a character with a critical role to play, life becomes a lot more interesting. I realize that I’m able to play with the play, once I see it for what it is. That asshole that just cut me off on the street and made me angry. It makes me pause and wonder: Wait — maybe he wasn’t there to induce anger in me. Maybe he was there to stop me from going into a danger area. Maybe he saved me, yet he took on an unexpected or unlikely form of “savior”. That one second delay could make a difference between life and death, as we know. That’s the tricky part — you don’t know who’s playing who. Purposes or “acts” are disguised as all kinds of characters. For example, Power could show up in the form of a similarly aged woman that’s a member of your biomimicry working group.

And this brings me to the secret, of how to see someone’s essence. Imagine now that the play is over, the interaction with someone ended. This is the moment when the actors all come on stage to reveal themselves, and the characters that they played. It’s like a benevolent trick. You see the designer that you’ve been obsessing about reveal himself to be playing the part of “mirror of self”. Your leadership course facilitator reveals herself to be your “loving soul guide”. The breast cancer reveals herself as “wayshower to the soul”. All these aspects of us are brought to us in a form, to play with us and to teach us something. They are always working for us, in honor of us and our potential. They want to help us play our character the best we possibly could. Because if we do that, it makes them look good! The whole play becomes more convincing, and all the more enjoyable, for the crowd. And we’re nourished by putting on our best performance for the crowd, because our work is to move them.

That moment when you lock eyes with each character on stage — that’s the moment. Aha! That’s the part they’ve been playing! Once it’s revealed, you’re able to laugh together, sharing in the fact that you’re now both in on the secret — the benevolent cosmic act now made visible. The mentor who you’ve admired and aspired to be like — he was there to act as a mirror for you, to push you to become who you are designed to be. The friend who you’ve had deep emotional challenges and conflicts with — she was there to challenge your beliefs and cultural conditioning, urging you to see beyond them and find your own truth. It’s no small feat, having taken on this role wholeheartedly with all it demanded of her, pushing her to the edge of her mental and emotional sanity. As for me, all that I could do is love each of these characters for playing their part with so much devotion in the name of all of our growth, as this growth happens not in isolation but through our relationships.

Next time you feel moved or especially (dare I say the word) triggered by someone, I encourage you to ask yourself — what can I see beyond the interaction and emotions that I’m feeling? Could it be that this person, this interaction, is showing me something that I could learn from? What is it about this anger, rage, apathy, or disappointment that could serve me to grow?